Losing a pet is losing a family member. The house sounds different. Your routine feels broken. If you’re asking, “What do I do now?” you’re not alone. This gentle guide walks you through the next hours, days, and weeks—simple steps, clear choices, and kind reminders. No heavy terms. Just what helps.

In the first hour: slow down

If your pet has just passed, take a breath. Sit close. Speak their name. Touch their fur if it feels right. It’s okay to cry or sit in silence. There is no rush.

If you’re unsure whether your pet has passed, look for quiet chest, no breath, and no response to touch. If you need certainty, call your vet for guidance.

Say goodbye in your own way

You might want to say a few words—“Thank you,” “I love you,” “You were a good friend.” You can play a favorite song, place a flower on their blanket, or whisper a memory. Goodbyes do not have a rule book. Do what fits your heart.

Choose a next step that matches your values

There are a few common paths, and all can be loving:

Cremation (with or without ashes returned)

Burial (a pet cemetery, or at home where allowed)

Memorial keepsakes (a small urn, paw print, a clip of fur, photos)

If you’d like the ashes back, say so clearly when you call. If you’re thinking of a home burial, check your local rules first so you can honor both your pet and your community.

Call your vet (or a local service)

Your vet’s office can explain choices, timing, and costs in plain language. If you want to be present during a final goodbye at the clinic, tell them. If you prefer not to be, that is okay too. If your vet is closed, look up a local pet aftercare service; many are kind and used to helping families at all hours.

Have this info ready:

Your pet’s name and size

Your choice (cremation with ashes back, without, or burial)

If you want a keepsake (paw print, fur clipping)

Tell the family—especially children—with honesty

Use simple words: “Buddy died today. His body stopped working. He isn’t in pain anymore.” Answer questions as best you can. Invite kids to help choose a photo, write a note, or place a drawing near the pet’s bed. Honest, short, and kind goes a long way.

Care for other pets in the home

Animals notice when a friend is gone. Keep routines steady: same feeding times, same walks, a little extra affection. Let them sniff a blanket if they want. They may search the house or seem quiet for a few days. Your calm presence helps most.

Create a small memory spot

Set up a simple corner where love can “live.” It can be a shelf, a bedside table, or a windowsill. Add a photo, the collar, a toy, a letter from you. If you have ashes, place the urn there with a plant or a small light. This becomes a place to say good morning or good night, to smile or cry or both.

Gentle rituals that keep love moving

Rituals don’t need big plans. Try one or two:

Light a candle in the evening and say one sentence of thanks.

Tell one small story at dinner once a week—just two minutes.

Take a short walk you used to share; notice the air, the sky, the way your feet land.

Make a playlist of “your” songs or keep a voice recording of purrs or snores.

What to do with their things

You don’t have to sort everything right away. When you feel ready, make three simple piles: Keep, Share, Let Go.

Keep: items that hold strong memories—collar, tag, favorite toy, a few photos, a blanket.

Share: clean bowls, spare leashes, carriers, unopened food—donate to a shelter or a friend who just adopted.

Let Go: worn-out toys, torn beds, expired treats.

If a choice hurts, place it in a “Decide Later” box. Healing doesn’t run on a deadline.

If you choose cremation or burial

Cremation: Ask when you can pick up ashes and whether they come in a temporary container. You can move them later into an urn that feels right for your home.

Burial: If using a pet cemetery, the staff will guide you. If home burial is allowed, choose a spot away from water lines and gardens, and consider a simple marker or plant. Keep it private and peaceful.

Whichever you choose, speak their name. That simple act makes the moment feel held.

Mark important days

Write down small dates that matter: birthday, “gotcha day,” the day they passed. On those days, place a flower, share a snack they loved (safe for humans, of course), or donate a can of food to a shelter. A tiny action can soften a heavy day.

Take care of yourself

Grief is not a straight road. Some mornings you’ll feel okay; a few hours later a song will break you open. Be gentle. Drink water. Step outside for fresh air. Sleep when you can. Talk to a friend who understands pets-as-family. If your sorrow feels like it’s closing in, a counselor can help you carry it.

A simple checklist for the next few days

Breathe. Sit with your pet if you want. Say goodbye in your own words.

Call your vet or a local service to plan the next step.

Share the news with family members, using simple and honest words.

Keep routines steady for other pets.

Create a small memory spot at home.

Choose one easy ritual you’ll repeat.

Sort belongings a little at a time: Keep / Share / Let Go.

Mark important dates with tiny acts of love.

Ask for help when you need it.

Final reminder

You gave your pet a life filled with care, voice, and belonging. That love does not end. After a pet passes away, the best “what now” is simple: slow down, make one kind choice, then another. Let your home hold their story. Let your heart keep the rest.